Introduction
I think what has happened is, there's been a shift. I don't want to say that it hasn't been personal because there is always self in the work we do, but I think it's come back to a way, actually, it's more like it's become a strong pull for my work to exuberate my internal existence. So what I have is a portfolio of images that are actually, in a sense, my individual and vivid thoughts and ideas translated into photographs.
Self-Portraiture
Self-portraiture is not what you'd call a "selfie". Self-portraiture is work that portrays this raw emotion that is honest with deeper meanings. Seeing the images I've created over the years, I notice my youthful naivety morphing into maturity as I became a wife, and then a mother. So it isn't a coincidence that my work would ultimately convey this transition of self awareness. And still, as I acquire knowledge and experience, there is always a childlike curiosity that shows itself because I am continually growing and changing.
Digital Series ONE:
Experiment
I'm going to start with digital first, unlike film, unless it's a Polaroid, I had that instant feedback to see, troubleshoot and play as much as I wanted. In this case, it was "endless" frames compared to the roughly 36 film frames I got with my Konica. So for me, it was a lot easier to do self-portraiture this way.
Do people still use gray cards anymore? Post processing has become so advanced that I don't use one at all now, but for the first few shoots I used it and thought it was absolutely necessary! Something else kinda funny and interesting - I have NEVER used a remote shutter release, and it's actually pretty ridiculous if you ever witness me doing a self-portrait shoot. It's become a fun ritual for me to use the self-timer. I set up my shot - focusing sometimes takes awhile, and I literally run back and forth between takes. Fake laughing until a real one comes out is my speciality! I'll have to record it for you sometime.
Subject Matter
There was a lot of hands on learning on how to focus, frame, get the lighting right and figure out subject matter. So I remember the first time I got to check out the digital camera from our class. It was a Nikon D-700, which is what I use today. I was in my apartment dorm room and thought, what am I even going to photograph this late at night - indoor lighting (horror music cue - it's not that bad), and my roommates are sleeping. I had an old jar collection of match books from various tourist destinations from around the world that my dad bought at a garage sale, a vintage candy jar of modern day edible sour gummy worms, fuzzy socks on my feet, and an outfit change at some point into an adorable dress by Odd Molly.
Discussion
When I look at these photos, I see this sequence of sharing a space and interacting not only with these objects, but myself as well. The question, "What will it look like if I do this? Or this?"
This series gives off a feeling of imperfection and evolution. I begin without my face looking at the camera, and it's even omitted at the beginning, my hair is up in a bun, and then eventually, it's completely down in it's mess, and I make eye contact with the audience, then turn away again.
So this realization that I could create art, and all I needed was myself or to add another element to interact with, was definitely a game changer for my photography. I could actually create work with me as the subject.
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I'd love to hear your thoughts on this first digital series. Send me a message below!